Sunday, April 3rd

I went to Monticello yesterday. Perhaps you noticed the Facebook post, with a picture of the boys there yesterday to complement my cover picture of you and I there years ago. We went to all the same spots, the boys and I, heard similar tour stories. I told them everything you told me. You thought Thomas Jefferson probably had ADHD. We all think you were right.

I didn't tell the boys that standing in Thomas Jefferson's library I could see you standing there too, your back to the books, glowing at me with the idea the tour guide threw out that I could somehow homeschool our grandchildren just like the Jefferson women. Your head was turned, you were looking at me from your left, and I stood by the books on the right. No words, you just flashed a smile with your raised eyebrows and then kept beaming at me.

You belong in that kind of house. Ideas everywhere. Projects. Lots of people coming in for parties and food. Grandchildren learning.

How can we do that? How can we have that idea living on, with me living and you not?

Honest question. 11:30pm.